I spend 50 weeks of the year trying to 'de-Glaswegian' (don't bother searching for that word in the Oxford Dictionary) myself at gigs throughout the UK, so this is my chance to be myself and not have to repeat "How, now, brown, cow" 15 times before every gig.
Last year's show had a theme, whereas this year's show is just going to be me trying to be your "funny pal" for an hour, simple as that. How pathetic does that sound??? Maybe that should be the theme then: Patheticness (also not in the Oxford dictionary).
I've called it Wide-O because when I asked people to describe me the only reply that didn't include the words "Baw" and "Bag" was this. In fact I'm pretty certain that word was used in my P1 report card.
Don't just go and see me though, both Scott Gibson and Raymond Mearns are what I'd describe as "annoyingly good", and if you can still get tickets (they sell as quick as a winner of The Voice's debut single doesn't) then go see Gary "Stormed It" Little.
Anyways, I had better go, I'm in Easterhouse Library typing this because my internet is pan breed, and there's people behind me heavy breathing clearly wanting on to purchase narcotics from that Silk Road website. Catch yous on March 14th!